Tips for Slips

Slips, what is and isn't a slip

My definition of a slip is you "indulge", make that "slip" into something it isn't, make it bigger than it really is... then condemn your self (self deprecation is something we're world champion, Olympic athletes at, addicts are hands down the best in the world at self deprecation)

... then give up.

At some point every addict who is recently clean asks themselves this question:

"Am I the kind of addict if I take one hit, I'm doomed to spend all my money on the shit again?"

We've all seen users who can use and stop, they seem to have more 'will power' than we do. They can use, but not spend the rent money. They can use one weekend and not the next week end.

We've all seen dealers who do not use, and some that do use. Among the latter, there are some who can hold onto what they have, because they have to turn it over... even if they want a hit real bad.

If we did that (and many of us have tried to sell just enough to pay for our stash), if we were in those shoes, we would smoke up the whole thing.

There is only one way for a recently clean addict to answer that question and that's to try it and see if we can use a little and stop.

I'm not suggesting that you try this to see which kind of addict you were, I'm saying this question lurks in the back of the mind of more than a few recovering addicts.

Which raises the question of "is that a slip?"

I found this message on a recovery message board I belong to, I thought I'd pass it along.

If you don't work to prevent a slip, the chances are you will slip. And if
you don't respond wisely to having a slip, it's likely that you will fall.
Recovery from addiction doesn't just happen - it takes planning, effort,
and follow-through. The responsibility is yours. The following suggestions
about slips are things that you - and only you - can do to safeguard your
recovery.

Prevent
1. Heed the principles of addiction and recovery. Recovery - an end to
drug urges - may take a year or more of learning new responses to old
situations. So be consistent with healthy new activities. Make them
habits. And be patient with yourself.
2. Associate with positive people. One valuable habit is always to look
for the people among those you meet who have strength and good feelings.
Make them your friends.
3. Plan in advance. Don't leave things to chance. Plan activities with
positive people, people in whom you have confidence and trust. Boredom is
one of the biggest factors in relapse, and you can avoid it by keeping your
schedule active.
4. Update, review, and pay attention to your list of risky situations. You
know what situations, places, and people are most risky for you and threaten
your recovery. If you avoid the "relapse traps" that are most powerful for
you, your chances of a slip are greatly reduced.

Prepare
1. Identify the people you would go to if you slipped. Who would
understand what you were going through and would care about you and really
help you? If you don't have such people in your life, find them. Start
now.
2. After careful thought and discussion with the people you respect and can
count on, determine what other things you would do if you slipped. Think
carefully.
3. Remember the TIPS principles: Truth, Information, Priorities, Support.
Respond
1. If you do slip, slow down - and think. Remember: You have a recovery
plan (?), you have already begun to build a new life, and a slip is not a
fall. Don't forget who you are and where you came from.
2. Follow through on your plan. Go to your support people and listen to
them. Do whatever else you told yourself you would do.
3. Learn from the experience. Future slips can be avoided, and this one is
an opportunity to learn how. Turn a negative experience around by benefiting
from it.
4. Recommit yourself to personal growth. Consider your whole life - not
just the drug part - and look for where you need to grow. Your slip is a
reminder that to stay straight and upright you must always move forward - at
your own pace and in your own direction - but always forward.

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These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

What it's like now that I'm clean

There were grandiose ideas I had when I started this blog and the codependency blogs I started back in 2001. I'd hoped to write stuff that would be sharing my experience, strength and hope for those like me who were "saveable".

At first I wrote to speak to educated addicts (including self educated like me) who could understand the theories behind the addiction authors I was learning from. I was surprised to discover most of my blog readers were therapists and drug counselors.

From my experience as a user I've been able to observe behaviors up close and personal, unlike a psychologist who observes as an outsider and draws conclusions based on text book theories and case studies. I'm erudite enough to have been in what I think is a unique position of knowing what the counselors know and knowing what is really going on inside a users psyche.

I'm gonna get hate mail from academics on this but I've come to believe that for men, sex addiction and total loss of any real hope of actually having a functional relationship with a woman is the over-riding force behind men crack smokers.

If you are internally beaten down, self-deprecating has become woven into the fabric of your perception and you are sure you have zero chance of a real relationship... that automatically means you have no chance at a functional sex life.

Translation: The only way you're gonna get laid is with a Crack Ho.

Treat Sex Addiction and the horsepower behind the substance abuse melts away.

I had health problems that were untreated leading to 5 years of impotence. In 2000 my "plumbing came back", while sexually non functional I withdrew into a self imposed prison. It's not like I didn't do something constructive during this period, I threw myself into learning how to use computers, learning how to type, learning how to build computers, learning how to admin a MS DOS box, win95 box, win98 box, built high performance gaming boxes, learned html, learned how to admin a webserver, learned the Unix operating system (windows is for pussies btw) but I didn't have a life, let alone a sex life... can we say "pent up demand" real, real loud?

I used hard (and got laid a few times)from 2003 to 2005, my Dad died in July 2005, got evicted from Dad's house (moved in with him and ran his Internet business and dry cleaning pick up & delivery business at his request), then lived in several crack hotels until I moved to Frederick in 2006.

Life from that point on was of declining cocaine use, inching ever closer to abstinence. That happened in fits and spurts. So don't let em tell you you've gotta quit cold turkey or it won't ever work. How many times did you *attempt* to quit smoking cigs, huh? shut the f*** up.

As of this writing I'm over 300 days clean.
So to the most important person in the room, the hero with 24 hours sobriety, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I've got to get back to work, more coming

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These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.