60 days clean... for real this time

60 Days Clean

I've been writing this from the perspective of an addict... it takes one to know one.

I've been 'in the process' of getting clean, and as you can tell from my posts, I believe one can 'move towards' getting clean as opposed to 'you gotta stop altogether or it don't count'.

Ok, I have used a bit, got clean, did some, stayed clean longer, got used to that, became accustomed to what 'clean' feels like, liked that, became exposed to a little bit of crack, rationalized that a little wouldn't hurt....

rinse, repeat.

The intervals of time clean have been getting longer.

How familiar I am with the distinction between 'geekin for another hit' and losing interest in the shit in the first place is increasing.

I like the latter more (more than I used to)

As a sex addict, and someone who had so much shame associated with my past fuck ups and shit that I did, again in the past, that WAS screwy, embarrassing, did shit that made everyone that knew me think I was a jealous loser that just refused to move on when his woman cheated on him...

I can tell you that a LOT of people I know that use weekly if not daily fall into this category, well men sex addicts do. The more you smoke, the more you wanna get laid, but the more you smoke, the less likely your hydraulics are going to work.

OK, I got laid last month and it wasn't a crack ho. I liked that... this woman wanted ME, not the amount of crack I had or money in my pocket (that was rapidly dwindling with each $50 I called to see if I could buy/get.

I'm really pleased to report that I'm now 60 days clean.

Last month: 7 days clean, smoked a couple hits, 10 days clean, smoked a $30 )didn't buy it, let someone use my place and they 'hit me off', 14 days clean, smoked some more crack, this time a $50, 21 days clean, did a single hit...


And now, it's been over 2 months. I 'lost interest' in the shit

more coming, I've got some work to do for paying customers... What do I do?

I publish blogs for small businesses. Blogs outperform conventional websites in the search engines.. that's how you found this blog, right?

I see the website stats, the number of hits this blog gets, the number of people who subscribe to the blog via RSS reader is skyrocketing, the number of people getting blog posts in their email (see box on right) is increasing.

So, I deduce from that, you want to get clean too.

Peace


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These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licensed counselor if you're in crisis.