In about 3 weeks or so, the cravings leave...
I begin to think I'm out of the woods...
Invariably, after a few months of 'being a choir boy', my thoughts of 'indulging because I've done so well' creep in to my thoughts.
The rationalization is that I've made some critical amends, fixed a lot of what I'd screwed up by being irresponsible with money/time/ you name it (when I was using)...
I begin to think that I've somehow *Earned* a guilt free indulgence.
AA would call this 'stinkin thinkin'
My crack using friends also report something similar to this 'I've been a good boy, I've earned it' syndrome.
I've found that my sobriety depends a lot on what I say to myself, internally.
Remember the movie - "Austin Powers, The Spy who Shagged Me" with Mike Myers?
There was a scene where Austin is unfrozen and says:
"I'll bet she shags like a minx!"
Then this discovery:
"I've got no inner monologue"
Well, we all have an inner monologue... This is what tells us *we've earned a guilt free indulgence*
Gotta watch your inner self talk, did you know we all have kinda split personalities inside your head?
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Categories: rationalization, indulgence, Stinkin-Thinkin, AA, split, personalities
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These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licensed counselor if you're in crisis.
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