Crack Cocaine Addiction sucks ass

It takes one to know one.

All addictions are ultimately Victim Behavior- they're also a symptom of codependency.

Recovery (serenity) requires a quantum shift, detachment defined is nothing (because Ego is digitalized), and detachment 'experienced' is serenity.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

For Many Boomers, Substance Addiction is Sex Addiction

I can't speak for the millenial generation, I can't speak for generation X, I'm a boomer.

What I do see in substance abuse in Boomers (I'm 52, class of 75) is a LOT of us have issues surrounding sex, sex or the lack of it, or the pursuit of it, or what we *think it's gonna give us*, what we want it to provide for us is screwed up. WTF does that mean?

Most people want sex, more sex sure seems like a better idea than less sex.. abstinance is just plain misery.

What if you're entire internal value system was predicated on being desireable?
...well if you WERE desirable, if you were lucky enough to be young, vibrant, attractive, sexy... there doesn't seem like there's much of a problem... until you are no longer young, vibrant, attractive, seductive, desirable

what then?

sounds kinda painful doesn't it?

umm, yeah, it is.

It is not healthy to have your self esteem completely dependent on "does she want me"
as long as she does... and you're getting it regularly... there ISN'T a problem, until she doesn't want you OR you are no longer getting it regularly

Why do many boomers secure crack?
Because if you can't get laid easily... if you have crack... you ARE assured of getting sex, it's not pretty, it's not the kind of sex you want but from your (skewed) perception getting it beats not gettin it

It is my opinion that a whole lot of crack cocaine addiction isnt' really about the substance.

it's about an unhealthy need for what you think sex means to you.

Here's to hoping you now know more about sex addiction than you did before you read this



========== These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Definition of Addiction

The best definition I found is the one I heard Dr Drew use:

Definition of Addiction:
When something (anything) has negative consequences, you're aware of the connection, and you keep doing it.
(paraphrased by me)

Meta Shame:

Ignorance is bliss? Meta Shame is when you feel bad ABOUT feeling bad.
for example: you just made a connection, you've become aware that your current behavior stems from, was originally, sourced by an experience in your youth, your formative years...
now you know this, but you keep on doing what ever... and you know it's not "from" you, it's "from" your broken childhood... yet you keep doing it

before you knew about the family systems "connection", you merely felt bad, now you feel bad ABOUT feeling bad.


==========
These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tips for Slips

Slips, what is and isn't a slip


My definition of a slip is you "indulge", make that "slip" into something it isn't, make it bigger than it really is... then condemn your self (self deprecation is something we're world champion, Olympic athletes at, addicts are hands down the best in the world at self deprecation)

... then give up.

At some point every addict who is recently clean asks themselves this question:

"Am I the kind of addict if I take one hit, I'm doomed to spend all my money on the shit again?"

We've all seen users who can use and stop, they seem to have more 'will power' than we do. They can use, but not spend the rent money. They can use one weekend and not the next week end.

We've all seen dealers who do not use, and some that do use. Among the latter, there are some who can hold onto what they have, because they have to turn it over... even if they want a hit real bad.

If we did that (and many of us have tried to sell just enough to pay for our stash), if we were in those shoes, we would smoke up the whole thing.

There is only one way for a recently clean addict to answer that question and that's to try it and see if we can use a little and stop.
I'm not suggesting that you try this to see which kind of addict you were, I'm saying this question lurks in the back of the mind of more than a few recovering addicts.

Which raises the question of "is that a slip?"

I found this message on a recovery message board I belong to, I thought I'd pass it along.

If you don't work to prevent a slip, the chances are you will slip. And if
you don't respond wisely to having a slip, it's likely that you will fall.
Recovery from addiction doesn't just happen - it takes planning, effort,
and follow-through. The responsibility is yours. The following suggestions
about slips are things that you - and only you - can do to safeguard your
recovery.

Prevent
1. Heed the principles of addiction and recovery. Recovery - an end to
drug urges - may take a year or more of learning new responses to old
situations. So be consistent with healthy new activities. Make them
habits. And be patient with yourself.
2. Associate with positive people. One valuable habit is always to look
for the people among those you meet who have strength and good feelings.
Make them your friends.
3. Plan in advance. Don't leave things to chance. Plan activities with
positive people, people in whom you have confidence and trust. Boredom is
one of the biggest factors in relapse, and you can avoid it by keeping your
schedule active.
4. Update, review, and pay attention to your list of risky situations. You
know what situations, places, and people are most risky for you and threaten
your recovery. If you avoid the "relapse traps" that are most powerful for
you, your chances of a slip are greatly reduced.

Prepare
1. Identify the people you would go to if you slipped. Who would
understand what you were going through and would care about you and really
help you? If you don't have such people in your life, find them. Start
now.
2. After careful thought and discussion with the people you respect and can
count on, determine what other things you would do if you slipped. Think
carefully.
3. Remember the TIPS principles: Truth, Information, Priorities, Support.
Respond
1. If you do slip, slow down - and think. Remember: You have a recovery
plan (?), you have already begun to build a new life, and a slip is not a
fall. Don't forget who you are and where you came from.
2. Follow through on your plan. Go to your support people and listen to
them. Do whatever else you told yourself you would do.
3. Learn from the experience. Future slips can be avoided, and this one is
an opportunity to learn how. Turn a negative experience around by benefiting
from it.
4. Recommit yourself to personal growth. Consider your whole life - not
just the drug part - and look for where you need to grow. Your slip is a
reminder that to stay straight and upright you must always move forward - at
your own pace and in your own direction - but always forward.

==========
These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Friday, September 04, 2009

What it's like now that I'm clean

There were grandiose ideas I had when I started this blog and the codependency blogs I started back in 2001. I'd hoped to write stuff that would be sharing my experience, strength and hope for those like me who were "saveable".

At first I wrote to speak to educated addicts (including self educated like me) who could understand the theories behind the addiction authors I was learning from. I was surprised to discover most of my blog readers were therapists and drug counselors.

From my experience as a user I've been able to observe behaviors up close and personal, unlike a psychologist who observes as an outsider and draws conclusions based on text book theories and case studies. I'm erudite enough to have been in what I think is a unique position of knowing what the counselors know and knowing what is really going on inside a users psyche.

I'm gonna get hate mail from academics on this but I've come to believe that for men, sex addiction and total loss of any real hope of actually having a functional relationship with a woman is the over-riding force behind men crack smokers.

If you are internally beaten down, self-deprecating has become woven into the fabric of your perception and you are sure you have zero chance of a real relationship... that automatically means you have no chance at a functional sex life.

Translation: The only way you're gonna get laid is with a Crack Ho.

Treat Sex Addiction and the horsepower behind the substance abuse melts away.

I had health problems that were untreated leading to 5 years of impotence. In 2000 my "plumbing came back", while sexually non functional I withdrew into a self imposed prison. It's not like I didn't do something constructive during this period, I threw myself into learning how to use computers, learning how to type, learning how to build computers, learning how to admin a MS DOS box, win95 box, win98 box, built high performance gaming boxes, learned html, learned how to admin a webserver, learned the Unix operating system (windows is for pussies btw) but I didn't have a life, let alone a sex life... can we say "pent up demand" real, real loud?

I used hard (and got laid a few times)from 2003 to 2005, my Dad died in July 2005, got evicted from Dad's house (moved in with him and ran his Internet business and dry cleaning pick up & delivery business at his request), then lived in several crack hotels until I moved to Frederick in 2006.

Life from that point on was of declining cocaine use, inching ever closer to abstinence. That happened in fits and spurts. So don't let em tell you you've gotta quit cold turkey or it won't ever work. How many times did you *attempt* to quit smoking cigs, huh? shut the f*** up.

As of this writing I'm over 300 days clean.
So to the most important person in the room, the hero with 24 hours sobriety, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I've got to get back to work, more coming

==========
These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Crack, Kidneys and Adrenal Fatigue

Smoking Crack and Your Urine has Blood in it?

We all know Cocaine is hard on your brain, it's hard on your neurotransmitters (dopamine et al)
but it's not as well known that Cocaine is hard on your glands, it's hard on your organs, it's particularly hard on your kidneys.

Is there blood in your urine?

You can't always tell by looking at it, I used to be a truck driver (I'm a professional blogger now). As a CDL truck driver we have to take DOT physicals every two years (and no those do not include a drug test, it seems like it should but DOT physicals are to see if you are healthy enough to drive, not to see if you're using)

I have kidney stones, a lot of em, one of them is big, really big (14 mm or damn near 9/16 of an inch). When I got my physical, the blood level was high, not high enough to legally keep me off the road, but it signaled to me something was wrong.

I drank coffee... a lot of it, way too much of it (can we say addictive behavior?). Try a gallon a day. I've read that Teddy Roosevelt also drank a gallon a day (he's one of my heros btw).

Between decades of coffee abuse and crack use that went up and down (down when I had a steady truck driving job and up when I was doing something else for a living, something NOT driving a big rig... between those two my kidneys (and those are run by our Adrenal System) took a beating.

This blog is dedicated to those who are still using, cutting down is better than doing nothing.
it is my postition that the inner strength required to cut down is no small thing.. even if you still fuck up.

21 consecutive days clean is WAY better than daily or every weekend.

do not let them tell you you suck cause you don't have 30 days clean
fuck them
14 days is a huge step forward.

Even if it takes you a year to get there, 3 steps forward and 2 back is still one big mother fucker forward

So anyway, here's a snippet from an Adrenal Care Article... read this if you're pissing blood:



Adrenal Fatigue should not be confused with Addison's disease, which is a condition where the Adrenal Glands simply shut down. Addison's is often caused by autoimmune dysfunction, while Adrenal Fatigue is typically brought on by stress.

The History And Future Of This Condition
Adrenal Fatigue is a condition that was first described in medical texts in the 1800's. However, over most of the last one hundred years, doctors argued as to whether it was a legitimate medical condition or not. The main stumbling block to the recognition of Adrenal Fatigue as a scientifically valid medical condition was that science had yet to determine a way to test for its existence.

The medical science community has set a baseline for the determination as to whether a condition exists or not. Doctors need to know what is normal and what is abnormal in the human body, before the conventional medical community will recognize a condition as a real medical condition. Just as Hyperglycemia can be diagnosed when blood sugar levels are too high, and Hypoglycemia can be diagnosed when blood sugar levels are too low, doctors need to be able to do laboratory tests to make measurements, in order to make a diagnosis.
This is one of the main challenges that the alternative medicine community faces. In order to get official recognition for a treatment from the conventional medical community, scientists must show empirically, what is normal and abnormal in the human body, to trigger a condition. Alternative medicine providers typically recognize a condition, well before the mainstream medical community is willing to accept it as fact, because mainstream medicine is waiting on proof of concept before it is willing to embrace a diagnosis or treatment.
Where Adrenal Fatigue is concerned, a laboratory test has recently been developed to make a proper diagnosis of this condition, although your doctor may not yet be aware of this fact.

Adrenal Gland Function
The adrenal glands are two small glands that sit atop the kidneys. Each adrenal gland has two compartments. The inner or medulla affects the sympathetic nervous system and is responsible for producing two hormones,epinephrine and norepinephrine. They play a role in helping to cope with physical and emotional stress and are responsible for the fight or flight response. The outer adrenal cortex is responsible for producing more than 50 different hormones in three major classes - glucocorticoids, mineralcorticoids and androgens. The most important glucocorticoid hormone is cortisol. When cortisol output is too low, then the body is unable to appropriately deal with stress when it occurs.

The adrenal cortex produces all sex hormones, with the exception of the DHEA, which is a weak androgenic hormone that both males and females receive in large doses. DHEA is important to the production of cortisol, in that DHEA in conjunction with testosterone and estrogen, are made from pregnenolone, a substance derived from cholesterol. Prolonged deficiencies in pregnenolone will reduce glucocorticosteroids such as cortisol and mineralcorticoids like aldosterone.

The most important anti-stress hormone in the body is cortisol. When the adrenal gland is working correctly and producing the proper amount of cortisol, then the body will be able to handle stress appropriately. Cortisol works to normalize blood sugar and to suppress the immune system to keep white blood cells from attacking healthy cells. Cortisol also serves as a powerful anti-inflammatory agent and a vaso-constrictor - helping to normalize blood pressure.
In summary, cortisol is the primary regulator of the body's defenses. It controls the start of the defense response and it prevents the body's defenses from overreacting to a perceived threat.
Adrenal Fatigue Symptoms
"�Weight gain and inability to lose it, especially around the waist.
"�High frequency of getting the flu and other respiratory diseases that tends to resist treatments.
"�Experiencing upper back or neck pain with no apparent cause.
"�Reduced sex drive.
"�Lightheaded when rising from a prone position or in general.
"�Forgetfulness.
"�Difficulties waking up in the morning.
"�Need coffee or stimulants to get started in the morning.
"�Experiencing a lack of energy in the mornings and late afternoon.
"�Lethargic in the late evening, but resist going to bed.
"�Briefly feel better after eating.
"�Cravings for salty, fatty, and high protein foods such as meat and cheese.
"�Increase symptoms of PMS for women; periods are heavy and then stop, only to start flow again a couple days later.
"�Having a tendency to tremble when stressed.
"�Feels better when stress is relieved, such as on weekends and vacation.
Additional Symptoms
"�Mild depression
"�Food and or inhalant allergies
"�Lethargy and lack of energy
"�Increased effort to perform daily tasks
"�Decreased ability to handle stress
"�Dry and thin skin
"�Hypoglycemia
"�Low Body Temperature
"�Nervousness
"�Palpitation
"�Unexplained hair loss
"�Alternating constipation and diarrhea
"�Dyspepsia

Causes of Adrenal Fatigue
None of these given symptoms can definitively prove Adrenal Fatigue, and should only be considered when all other organic pathologies have been ruled out.
One of the most common overlooked causes of Adrenal Fatigue is a chronic or severe infection that gives rise to an inflammatory response. Frequently, these infections can reside within the body with no obvious signs. The most common type infections that can cause adrenal fatigue include parasitic and bacterial infections, including Giardia and H. pylori.

Adrenal Fatigue is the result of acute severe or chronic excessive stress that a person's body is unable to properly combat. The ability of the human body to handle physical and emotional stress is essential to human survival, and we have been given a full set of tools to combat stress in the adrenal glands. But when the adrenal glands are not operating efficiently or correctly, the body will begin to handle stress less effectively and symptoms will begin to make their presence known.
Common causes of adrenal fatigue include:
"�Anger
"�Chronic fatigue
"�Chronic illness
"�Chronic infection
"�Chronic pain
"�Depression
"�Excessive exercise
"�Fear and guilt
"�Gluten intolerance
"�Low blood sugar
"�Mal-absorption
"�Mal-digestion
"�Toxic exposure
"�Severe or chronic stress
"�Surgery
"�Late hours
"�Sleep deprivation
"�Excessive Exercise
"�Excessive sugar in diet
"�Excessive caffeine intake from coffee and tea

Laboratory Testing For Adrenal Fatigue
In adrenal fatigue testing, clinicians seek the markers cortisol and DHEA. Tests can be performed using a blood test or a saliva test, but the saliva test is preferential because it measures the amount of free and circulating hormones instead of the binded hormones commonly measured in blood test.

DHEA can be measured anytime during the day. Cortisol is the higher in the morning and lower in the evening before bed, so the adrenal fatigue test should be given in the morning.
As previously mentioned, testing should also be done to rule out sub-clinical infections as the cause for adrenal fatigue. So as a companion to the cortisol and DHEA measure, the lab should couple a specialized test measuring the immunoglobulin response to the process, searching for bacteria and parasites in the culture.

==========
These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Overdose rarely from a single drug

A Combination of Drugs?

Rarely does a prescription drug overdose occur from taking too much of a single drug alone, although it can happen. The vast majority of drug overdose deaths happen because of a combination of drugs. According to the Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN) victims of drug overdoses have an average of 2.7 drugs in their system at the time.

Most prescription drug overdoses happen because the person takes more than one pain medication, or takes pain killers along with tranquilizers or sleeping pills, or drinks alcohol with pain killers, tranquilizers or other depressants.

Many times it's accidental. With pain medications, for example, the person may build up a tolerance to them so that they no longer provide the relief they need. So they begin to take larger doses or more than one kind to try to relieve their pain. The drugs begin to build up in their system with tragic results.

Respiratory Failure Causes Death

Source: http://alcoholism.about.com/b/2009/06/26/investigation-continues-into-the-death-of-michael-jackson.htm?nl=1

==========
These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Subjective Reality: Time is an illusion- 20 things you didn't know

Atheistic or Spiritual? Religious or Spiritual? Time is an optical Illusion... or Delusion Einstein said so.. science uses those equations as gospel. Scientists have been looking at the data and to date, very few of them want to say what's staring everyone right in the face.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Employer Drug Testing

Anything that can be abused... will be abused.



If you've just stumbled onto this blog, please consider leaving a comment and subscribe to my RSS feed and remember to subscribe to Life in Frederick Maryland via email to ensure you can enjoy the latest post(s).

The following information is provided not for the purpose of helping someone avoid testing dirty. It is provided to illustrate that if employers used the more expensive and more accurate drug screening tests AND THE DRUG TAKING POPULATION KNEW THIS

... there would be less abuse, and more people testing clean.

The current drug screening situation as it pertains to employment is a farce.
The people that should get caught don't get caught and a tiny fraction of people who are actually clean, get false positives.


If an insurance company were running the employment show, every body would take the better tests (the hair test, not the urine test)

Employer attitudes towards drug testing are similar to the apathetic attitude some employers have towards employee theft, or pilferage. It's cheaper to absorb it and pass it on to the consumer than it is to go through the pain in the ass of actually hiring people who don't steal.

Shoplifting is in this category too. It is cheaper to let them get away with it, than it is to hire people to stop it... the shoplifters know this
...the dis honest employee population knows this
... and the drug taking population knows all of this.

The public is, for the most part, unaware.



In some commercial business markets, so much of the population is drug addicted that many employers simply look the other way. The attitude is such that the employer seemingly gives up. If they had to hire drug free, they wouldn't get anyone, who really wants to work the night shift at a pizza place or drug store. I base this concept on the West Baltimore neighborhood I lived in and got high in from 2000 to 2005.

I actually remember reading a Baltimore newspaper article that alleged that 2/3 of a certain Baltimore neighborhood was addicted to heroin- sadly I wasn't a journalist at the time so I failed to note which newspaper said it nor can I vouch for the accuracy of the article nor can I cite references other than the fact that I stayed high for 2 years and ran in those crowds, meaning the allegations of the article were similar to what I saw with my own eyes.


DEFINITION: A False Positive is a drug free sample falsely being reported as showing positive for drugs.

Cocaine False Positives

Other Names You Might Know

Coke
Crack
Flake
Rocks
Snow


Things That Can Cause False Positives For Cocaine

  • Amoxicillin

  • Kidney Infection

  • Liver Disease

  • Tonic Water

  • Kidney Disease

  • Diabetes


  • A false positive drug test can occur for a number of reasons including: improper laboratory procedure, mixing up samples, incorrect paperwork and passive inhalation. But the most common cause of drug testing false positives are cross reactants. A cross reactant is a substance which because of its similar chemical structure to a drug or its metabolite can cause a false positive result.

    Drug Test Interaction With Medicines And Foods

    Be aware that certain foods and over-the-counter medications can cause you to test "positive" for various kinds of drugs. Some simple examples are:
  • Poppy seeds, for example, can show up on a drug test as morphine.

  • Cold remedies that contain codeine can also cause a positive result for morphine

  • Valium reportedly can produce erroneous indications of PCP (Phencyclidine), and other cold remedies can apparently produce false positive drug screen of methamphetamine usage

  • *

    The widespread availability of hemp-containing products, including everything from hemp-seed oil nutritional supplements to hemp-seed candy, cookies, cheese, bread, cooking oil, and general seasoning, means that ingesting ANY of these products could potentially cause a false positive result on a test for marijuana.

    Hair and urine testing is highly susceptable to false positive drug testing - to the point that some experts call such testing "junk science". People with dark skin are particularily susceptable to false drug testing results when exposure to second hand marijuana or cocaine smoke is absorbed into their hair.

    More than 250 over the counter or prescription drugs can cause you to test positive on a drug test.
  • Pain relievers such as Advil, Nuprin, Motrin

  • Menstrual cramp medications like Midol and Trendar

  • Ibuprofen is known to cause positive samples for Marijuana

  • Anti inflammatories such as Naproxyn

  • Dristan Nasal Spray, Neosynephren, Vicks Nasal Spray, Sudafed

  • Over the counter appetite suppressants which contain propanolamine

  • Common nasal decongestants can cause a positive reading for Amphetamines

  • Medications containing chloropromazine and fluspirilene may yield a positive when tested for amphetamines

  • Vicks Formula 44M containing Dextromethorphan, and Primatene-M containing perylamine as well as the pain reliever Demerol, and prescription anti-depressant Elavil test positive for opiates up to three days

  • Quinine water can also cause a positive reading for opiates

  • Poppy Seeds such as the ones on a bagel from your favorite deli, represent a potentially serious source of falsely positive results in testing opiate abuse

  • Nyquil Nighttime Cold Medicine will test positive for Methadone up to two days

  • Amoxicillin has caused positives for cocaine

  • Diazepam tests positive for PCP



  • A small fraction of the population excrete large amounts of endogenons lysozyme or malate dehydrogenase in their urine which can produce a positive drug test.
    *

    Africans and certain Orientals might test positive for marijuana due to the pigment melanin in their skin which shows up in a dark person's urine sample.
    *

    Second hand marijuana or cocaine that you might inhale may give your test a positive result for several days.

    PLEASE READ THIS DISCLAIMER: Let us first say that not all drug tests are sensitive to all of the following and just ingesting one or more of these ingredients will not guarantee a drug test false positive test. Also just by saying you have ingested one or more of these ingredients will not automatically dismiss a false positive drug test. Hair and urine testing is highly susceptable to false positive drug testing - to the point that some experts call such testing "junk science". People with dark skin are particularily susceptable to false drug testing results when exposure to second hand marijuana or cocaine smoke is absorbed into their hair.

    "TRICKS" THAT DO NOT WORK AND COULD CAUSE ONE TO FAIL



    Various techniques have been running around for some time on how to beat a urine drug test. Most of these techniques are known and the tests and testing methods have been adjusted to compensate for their use. Let's look at some of the most common techniques.

    SAMPLE SUBSTITUTION or adulteration has become a significant issue due to the prevalence of synthetic and/or drug-free urine and a wide range of adulterants available on the internet. Some are very effective, but are of dubious value because they are easily detectable. As an example, one of the often used methods to test for adulterants is to add some amount of an actual drug to a small portion of the sample and then retest that portion. If a masking agent is present in the urine, the resulting drug test will have a negative result despite the fact that a drug was added. This situation is also usually reported to whomever ordered the test.

    DRINKING LOTS OF WATER - Some people might attempt to defeat a urine test by drinking copious amounts of water. However, a sufficiently diluted sample may be rejected due to its clear color. Samples that are too clear may be flagged and tested for specific gravity and/or the presence of creatinine. If the sample fails one or both of these tests, the sample is rejected and the dilution is reported to the entity that ordered the test and could even result in a failure as some testing entities will not allow a retest.

    source: http://www.alwaystestclean.com/false_positive_drug_test.htm

    In Summary: Hair Testing is the only way to really get a drug free place of employment.

    HAIR DRUG TESTING.

    THIS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME. BE CAREFUL OF THIS TEST

    History can be obtained from any hair follicle which can be taken from any body location. Use can be detected, at a minimum, for many months and this detection can be stretched to even years depending on where and how the sample was removed. Most often the sample is targeted at the hair follicles that would represent use in the prior 90 days. However, this is not a stead fast rule.

    A Hair Drug Test is considered highly accurate at showing any prescription drugs, drugs of abuse or even nicotine from smoking that have been used within a specified detection window.

    As hair grows out drugs used are encased in the hair shaft, so the longer the hair, the longer back in an individual's drug history the drug testing laboratory can go. Most hair drug testing laboratories tend to use only the hair within about 2.5 - 4 cm of the scalp and discard the rest. This arbitrarily limits the detection history to about 90 days, depending upon the rate at which your hair grows.

    Some people attempt to circumvent the hair drug test through shaving their heads. In the absence of the required amount of hair on the scalp, any body hair can be used as an acceptable substitute. For pre-employment hair testing the inability to obtain a sample may be grounds for not hiring the individual.

    There is a growing trend in major companies and law enforcement agencies to utilize hair analysis drug test in account of its efficiency and reputation as the gold standard when considering test accuracy. This technology makes use of radioimmunoassay technology with subsequent confirmation by mass spectrometry. Hair Testing labs are regulated by CLIA (Clinical Laboratory Improvement Amendments of 1988) or SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) and not the FDA (Food and Drug Administration).





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    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

    Sunday, January 18, 2009

    Why Rehab Doesnt Work

    Why do you we constantly hear about Celebrities going in and out of Rehab?



    Why is it that people have "hope" that what passes for "Treatment" will "help" somebody but in the back of every ones mind (and they're afraid to admit or say this aloud)we all know the truth... it's a 'slap on the wrist'. Why is recidivism is so high?

    Because the L.C.S.W. (licensed clinical social workers) are not running the show, the idiot psychologists are. Don't get me started about totally useless Psychiatrists.
    Psychiatrists are hopelessly atheist and are foolishly convinced that this is a brain chemistry imbalance. I'm so tired of hearing erudite suits with their expensive degrees talk about the hippo campus this and amigdla that...

    They're looking in the wrong part of the pond, and it gets worse:
    Since the only tool in their toolbox is a hammer, and THEY have the degrees (pedigree should I say?) they feed us this 'baby spoon fed' bullsh** about how the ONLY problem they see looks curiously like a nail.

    (so it's a good thing for us that they are the keepers of the hammers, isn't it?)

    How many of the Freakin so called Doctors have used the sh**?

    How many of the clock watching too lazy to get a real job social workers who took this in college to make them look "altruistic" because they "help" people and just like Miss America all they want is "world peace"... how many of them woke up in the evening shi*ing their pants because they were supposed to go to work YESTERDAY and slept for 30 hours because they had stayed awake for 3 or 4 days straight?

    It takes one to know one



    Time to wake up and smell the coffee people.

    Crack is NOT about a substance, it isn't even about Drugs.
    Crack is about people who are so insecure about GETTING LAID that they need crack to procure a sex partner


    Crack is about sex addiction
    NOT substance abuse.

    Picture this:
    a guy is butt ugly (he's not but he's no Brad Pitt either)
    He's fat, might even smell bad...
    self esteem?
    you're talking not just another planet, for this sorry SOB, self esteem is on an alternate parallel universe!

    His realistic prospects of getting into a woman's pants are so far less than zero it'd make him laugh himself into a seizure to actually believe he had half a chance.

    Enter the Crack Ho



    Now, with this magic substance, brave new worlds are open to him...

    Add Erectile Dysfunction to this mix and...

    You idiots are so far off the mark, you have no idea.

    Treat Sex Addiction and you get to the real source.
    Treating Substance Abuse is giving the common cold a kleenex (you dumb asses)

    Do I sound pissed?
    Really? do I?
    hmm

    OK, so you want someone to quit cold turkey (NOT gonna happen by the way)
    All your gonna do is set this poor slob up for double or triple self depracation when he lies to you, feels like sh** because he can't do what you want him to do

    Ever heard of Meta Shame (you seriously F***ed up Assholes)

    Shame is you feel bad, you may not know why but you feel bad
    ignorance is bliss
    Meta Shame is when you feel bad ABOUT feeling bad
    (and you call yourselves therapists? now the guy is worse off, and you're down on him from your ivory tower you piece of shit)

    Sex Addiction (you went to college and I'm a high school drop out and I have to teach you this? I can't believe this... )

    Sex Addiction is like Food Addiction

    You can't quit food addiction cold turkey
    can you? did I miss something here...

    Last time I checked if you stopped eating you died

    What are you really going to do about sex addiction, become celibate?



    You first (you mother f******)



    Treat what's really going on. And you'll get somewhere

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    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

    Tuesday, December 30, 2008

    Shame keeps addiction well fueled

    You can't do any thing about what you did.



    You CAN do something about your NOW!.

    Actually in point of fact there isn't any time except now (but this is concept is a post unto itself, when you were in your past, what time was it? now. When you get to your future, what time will it be then? now.)

    Being ashamed of what you did (and the codependent trait of confusing your who with your do Or did)isn't going to:

  • rewrite history

  • improve the present

  • make 'them' feel any better about what ever it was you did

  • make you wish they didn't feel that way about you


  • In short, shame is counterproductive.

    But it's a whole lot worse than simply being CounterProductive... it's toxic

    Guilt is about what you did


    Shame is about what you are.



    they are most definitely NOT the same, but you can't tell an addict that.

    NOR can you tell your friends and family (who are, even if they refuse to accept this fact... your F&F are co addicts (or codependents, relative to you they are even if they're not codependent to themselves)

    Christmas just passed us (sorry, my bad "Merry Christmas readers, I seem to have gotten a whole lot more of you! haven't been checking my site stats and WOW some of you must have told your friends to come here... thanks btw)

    ...Christmas just passed and the way my family relates to me just demonstrated how far shame's tentacles reach:

    I do Search Engine Marketing in the real world.

    I drove a tractor trailer before that. I got fired from driving a truck, fired for being sick... being an 'addictive personality' had a lot to do with my getting fired.
    I abused my kidneys over the past 20 years, didn't stay hydrated, drank dangerous amounts of coffee (drug substitution) and I got kidney stones, plural, and they never passed.

    When I 'fell off the wagon' with Crack a few years ago, I didn't know that crack was super hard on the adrenal system (kidney system is run by our adrenal system).

    Long story short I indulged, less than when I was using heavy but I indulged nonetheless. (indulge, now that's a euphemism and fodder for my next post)

    Needed to get a job driving a truck, and failed the pre employment drug screen.
    The total volume of crack in my system was negligible, but my kidneys are not running on all 8 cylinders. Lucky for me (probably intervention of from my higher power) I was NOT behind the wheel when I tested dirty.

    The folks that I wanted to work for, let me take the test again (7 months later) and I passed (small wonder by that time I'd almost quit crack completely) but the company required me to drive the tractor trailer in violation of the hours a truck driver can drive (safely)... shorter story, I drank too much coffee, guess what my kidneys did then?

    They fired me on the day before my health insurance was to take effect, the 89th day as a matter of fact. I'm of the opinion although there will never be a way to prove this, I think they worked the hell out of me cause I failed a drug test in the recent past and wouldn't complain.

    ... for a time, they were correct in that assumption. I felt like I was being given a second chance (and I was) and I felt I was being given (by my Higher Power) an opportunity to "make right" a previous screw up.

    This was the first time in 26 years of commercial truck driving that I failed a drug test. and to "complete" or "make amends" to the damage I'd done to an almost perfect CDL history... well I was grateful (and still am).
    OK, got fired, lost place to live, it's winter, ended up in the homeless shelter in Frederick Maryland.

    Snap out of feeling sorry for myself, hell I did it, its up to me to repair it.
    I knew search engine marketing from running my Dad's Internet business when I lived in Baltimore a few years ago, no one would hire me to drive a truck... so

    I did free lance search engine work in Frederick to small businesses, I had to give em a website too, did the whole enchilada... now this is a recovery success story.

    The local newspaper caught wind of it, story got buried and didn't make the paper (from my own fault, I got vindictive towards some of my clients that tried to hold my crack addiction against me and posted stuff I shouldn't have, newspaper saw that and nixed my publicity, that's ok, tomorrows another day)

    The newspaper interviewed me over the phone, photographer showed up.. looked like I was gonna be a 'local crack head recovers and starts successful Internet advertising biz' story.

    Now what's this got to do with shame?

    My family and their reaction to the impending fame.

    They were 'squeamish' about the world knowing that I smoked crack.
    They were ashamed... more than I was

    this caught me by surprise.

    they also 'claimed me' in a way that they'd not done before... if I'm gonna be in the paper and every body's gonna know about it... they wanted me to get my hair cut.

    even went so far as to try to teach me manners,'clean me up' so I wouldn't make them look bad. All of a sudden if they were gonna have to publicly admit to "yea he's in my family"

    see where I'm going with this?

    Shame is toxic, and it keeps the addiction from being something "fixable" and turns it into something "to sweep under the rug"

    I DO know about sweeping crap under the rug... I'm an incest survivor

    I was five freakin years old, what the hell was I gonna do about it?
    YOUR ashamed to hear about it? FU** YOU.
    I refuse to allow shame to keep making my life a living hell

    Oprah Winfre made it her lives mission in 1983 to FORCE the country to acknowledge that child sex abuse happens ten fold more than any one mainstream or not wanted to admit

    I owe a HUGE part of my recovery to Oprah's guile and grit

    Happy New Year if I don't post till then



    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

    Friday, December 12, 2008

    If you do slip, slow down - and think.

    This was posted to another board I belong to. I find it very insightful.

    If you don't work to prevent a slip, the chances are you will slip.



    And if you don't respond wisely to having a slip, it's likely that you will fall.
    Recovery from addiction doesn't just happen

    - it takes planning, effort, and follow-through. The responsibility is yours. The following suggestions about slips are things that you - and only you - can do to safeguard your recovery.

    Prevent
    1. Heed the principles of addiction and recovery. Recovery - an end to
    drug urges - may take a year or more of learning new responses to old
    situations. So be consistent with healthy new activities. Make them
    habits. And be patient with yourself.

    2. Associate with positive people. One valuable habit is always to look
    for the people among those you meet who have strength and good feelings.
    Make them your friends.

    3. Plan in advance. Don't leave things to chance. Plan activities with
    positive people, people in whom you have confidence and trust. Boredom is
    one of the biggest factors in relapse, and you can avoid it by keeping your
    schedule active.

    4. Update, review, and pay attention to your list of risky situations. You
    know what situations, places, and people are most risky for you and threaten
    your recovery. If you avoid the "relapse traps" that are most powerful for
    you, your chances of a slip are greatly reduced.


    Prepare
    1. Identify the people you would go to if you slipped. Who would
    understand what you were going through and would care about you and really
    help you? If you don't have such people in your life, find them. Start
    now.
    2. After careful thought and discussion with the people you respect and can
    count on, determine what other things you would do if you slipped. Think
    carefully.
    3. Remember the TIPS principles: Truth, Information, Priorities, Support.
    Respond
    1. If you do slip, slow down - and think. Remember: You have a recovery
    plan (?), you have already begun to build a new life, and a slip is not a
    fall. Don't forget who you are and where you came from.
    2. Follow through on your plan. Go to your support people and listen to
    them. Do whatever else you told yourself you would do.
    3. Learn from the experience. Future slips can be avoided, and this one is
    an opportunity to learn how. Turn a negative experience around by benefiting
    from it.
    4. Recommit yourself to personal growth. Consider your whole life - not
    just the drug part - and look for where you need to grow. Your slip is a
    reminder that to stay straight and upright you must always move forward - at
    your own pace and in your own direction - but always forward.


    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licensed counselor if you're in crisis.

    Thursday, November 20, 2008

    Substituting Addictions

    CrackAddictionRecovery.blogspot.com

    When I was using, albeit less and less, I really wanted to take pictures of the paraphenalia and a shot of one of our gang hitting the pipe... well the people who know me also know that I do search engine optimization, I do websites for local businesses and I can get Google to say what ever I want Google to say about a company... needless to say no one wanted their face to show up in Google or Yahoo.

    I found this photo on a site that gives permission to use it, so here it is.

    Crack smokers know what's up in the pic, I added it here for the non users that read this blog (and the number of readers is skyrocketing so I must be doing something right).


    Is Everyone "Addicted" to Something?

    Dictionary definitions of addiction include:
    "Compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (heroin, nicotine, alcohol, etc.) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal".
    "Persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful".

    Addict: (n) "One who is addicted to a substance."

    Addict: (v) "To devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or obsessively."

    Colloquial use of the words addict and addiction have progressed in recent years to include many things not inherently harmful and not characterized by any withdrawal other than the feeling of loss. For example, some Steamboaters may say they are addicted to skiing. There may actually be some truth to this; look at the person (usually with a history of addiction to a substance, perhaps in early or marginal recovery from substance abuse) compulsively skiing to the detriment of his marriage or family commitments, or even work; he may "devote or surrender himself obsessively to skiing." He may be doing something harmful to his marriage or job, but when the season is over, he does not have physiological withdrawal. He may feel loss, but more likely will find another process to participate in "habitually or obsessively."

    This behavior is compulsive, but it is not the same as addiction to a mind altering substance. The danger here, to continue with this example, is in substituting skiing for alcohol, heroin, prescription pills, or speed. Certainly physical exercise is good for everyone, and can be helpful to the addict who is discontinuing the use of a mind altering substance; but if the addict simply begins to use skiing compulsively and does not embrace the work and process of recovery, he is likely to return to substance use and abuse when the season is over. He will find skiing only goes so far in helping deal with the underlying pain, anger, and other feelings he has been covering up with substances and now with obsessive skiing.

    The point is that the addict is the problem; the skiing, even the substance, is not really the problem. A non-addict can have an intense interest in something, perhaps reading or art, or some form of exercise. This passion does not become destructive. The non-addict (I hesitate to say "normal person" as everyone's idea of what constitutes normal is different) does not switch from intense and passionate reading, writing, painting, or skiing to abuse of alcohol or pills when he stops reading, writing, painting, or skiing. Non-addicts can have an intense interest or passion for something; this is not addiction; it is intense interest or passion for something that enhances their lives and is not destructive; they are not addicts; they are passionate and intense people or people with intense and passionate interests.

    The real issue here is that addicts are different from other people. If you ever have the opportunity to listen to an addict (even one in recovery for many years) try to explain to a non-addict (spouse, therapist, friend or family) how he thinks or feels, and see the puzzled look on the non-addict's face, then watch two addicts talking to each other, nodding their heads and finishing each others sentences, you will see the difference.

    Again, the danger for the addict is in substituting something for the drug instead of working on recovery; it does not usually last and it does not provide for resolution of past issues and progression to a clean, sober, and responsible life.

    So, to answer the question, "is everyone addicted to something?" No, some people are addicts and they are susceptible to becoming addicted to any substance or process they use. Other people, perhaps 85% to 90% of the population, are not addicts; they can safely have intense interests and not risk destructive and harmful addictions or physiological withdrawal symptoms.

    Dr. Dawn Obrecht is the only MD addiction medicine specialist on the western slope of Colorado. She is a Fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and her office is in Steamboat Springs. She does consultations and referrals anywhere in the country and can be reached at 970-846-8479 or through http://www.docdawn.com

    Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dawn_Obrecht

    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.

    Wednesday, November 19, 2008

    60 days clean... for real this time

    60 Days Clean


    I've been writing this from the perspective of an addict... it takes one to know one.

    I've been 'in the process' of getting clean, and as you can tell from my posts, I believe one can 'move towards' getting clean as opposed to 'you gotta stop altogether or it don't count'.

    Ok, I have used a bit, got clean, did some, stayed clean longer, got used to that, became accustomed to what 'clean' feels like, liked that, became exposed to a little bit of crack, rationalized that a little wouldn't hurt....

    rinse, repeat.



    The intervals of time clean have been getting longer.

    How familiar I am with the distinction between 'geekin for another hit' and losing interest in the shit in the first place is increasing.

    I like the latter more (more than I used to)

    As a sex addict, and someone who had so much shame associated with my past fuck ups and shit that I did, again in the past, that WAS screwy, embarrassing, did shit that made everyone that knew me think I was a jealous loser that just refused to move on when his woman cheated on him...

    I can tell you that a LOT of people I know that use weekly if not daily fall into this category, well men sex addicts do. The more you smoke, the more you wanna get laid, but the more you smoke, the less likely your hydraulics are going to work.

    OK, I got laid last month and it wasn't a crack ho. I liked that... this woman wanted ME, not the amount of crack I had or money in my pocket (that was rapidly dwindling with each $50 I called to see if I could buy/get.

    I'm really pleased to report that I'm now 60 days clean.

    Last month: 7 days clean, smoked a couple hits, 10 days clean, smoked a $30 )didn't buy it, let someone use my place and they 'hit me off', 14 days clean, smoked some more crack, this time a $50, 21 days clean, did a single hit...


    And now, it's been over 2 months. I 'lost interest' in the shit

    more coming, I've got some work to do for paying customers... What do I do?

    I publish blogs for small businesses. Blogs outperform conventional websites in the search engines.. that's how you found this blog, right?

    I see the website stats, the number of hits this blog gets, the number of people who subscribe to the blog via RSS reader is skyrocketing, the number of people getting blog posts in their email (see box on right) is increasing.

    So, I deduce from that, you want to get clean too.

    Peace


    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licensed counselor if you're in crisis.

    Saturday, November 08, 2008

    Use Guerrilla Recovery Methods

    If you've been trying to get clean using traditional methods and it's not working...

    Try going through the 'back door'.

    What I mean is if you're fuc*** up and you know it, what do you do?

    Most people seek out someone they know that used to be 'Off The Hook' and either quit or cut down so much it was clear that they had cleaned up.

    And what is the most likely thing that cleaned up person's going to tell you?

    Go go meetings

    So what if going to meetings doesn't help you?

    A better question is WHY would going to meetings not do you any good?

    For most of those for whom going to meetings doesn't help it's because they either don't believe in God, or they don't believe God is going to help them.

    OK, transparency check here: I do believe in God and do believe 12 step meetings can help.

    BUT

    it's not completely necessary to believe in God or go to meetings as a believer, nor even go to meetings at all to get clean.

    OK, got that out of the way

    Why does going to meetings not work?

    The 3rd step - it's a Trust Issue, in your guts you don't trust God to help you.
    OR... in your guts you don't think God's gonna take the time to help a screwed up, lying, untrustworthy piece of sh** like you.

    Why do so many people have trouble with organized religion?

    The Hierarchy Model, that's what I think.

    God is UP THERE
    and we're DOWN HERE.

    another reason so many people have trouble with God is most religions concentrate on BRIBERY

    "If you don't do good... YOU'LL GO TO HELL!!"

    I recently found out I'm what they call "Gnostic", I didn't know there was a specific philosophical/ theological term for it...

    I do not trust organized religion and I DO trust spirituality.

    I'm more in line with DePak Choppra than I am the president of the Mormon Church or the Pope.

    I do NOT think God is so Punitive, the God I believe in isn't so into punishment.

    My God is not a vengeful God.

    I think it's counterproductive to concentrate on punishment, see the blog post on another of my blogs that I keep linking to...



    So... what the hell do I mean by 'Back Door'?

    Use N.L.P.

    And WFT is NLP?

    Neuro Linguistic Programming. Some people call NLP a form of self hypnosis.

    I wrote about NLP on another of my blogs here:
    http://victimbehavior.blogspot.com/2008/09/installing-new-behavior.html

    You Could call it that, but that'd be a misnomer, that's such a limited title to give NLP.

    For now, let's say we've grown up using internal 'software' and that 'programming' sucks.

    Scrap the programming.

    ditch the motherf****r.

    Simple as that.

    What you were doing to get crack free didn't work.

    Do something else. Try something else. What's the harm? What you WERE doing didn't work.

    The way you look at crap automatically includes certain limitations. Those limitations are unconscious. They're 'built in'

    They are PRE suppositions, and when you 'look at sh** a certain way' the presuppositions are not apparent (because they're built in) you can't see the forest for the trees kinda thing.

    OK, here's some examples:

    you smoke cigarettes, since you smoke crack, it's a safe bet you smoke menthol cigarettes, Newport's probably (easy giveaway to spot a crack head: white guy smoking Newports and his lighter is turned up so high it burns his eyebrows)


    When people try to quit smoking... how confident are they that they'll make it?

    Not very.

    When people get a cold, what do they do?

    take something to deal with the symptoms... what happened to a cure?

    Do you really believe you can "CURE" addiction?

    I didn't think so.

    Change the paradigm is what I'm saying...

    Don't try to 'quit' or 'stop' doing anything.

    to quit/stop/give up/ is negative.

    What you want to do is to re program your insides to what you want to more towards, and not what you want to avoid.


    //////////////////////////////




    Your goal is to be crack free.



    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\





    not stop smoking crack






    What would it look like if you were crack free?


    What kinds of sh** would you do if you were crack free?


    What would it feel like, inside, if you were crack free?


    now for most of the crack heads reading this, they're gonna say, sh*t that's not gonna work.

    See what you're built in presupposition already limited you to?


    To construct an imaginary scene where you are crack free is to use NLP self hypnosis techniques.

    there you go... now you have something to practice.


    Here are some links to describe NLP:

  • http://www.nlpu.com/whatnlp.htm


  • What Wikipedia says about NLP







  • What follows here actually belongs on my http://subjectobjectreality.blogspot.com but since it's related to the thrust of this post I'm leaving it in here.
    Also, I'm tired as shit and if I don't leave it here, I'll forget to write a blog post around this idea.

    The entire monotheistic methodology of religion, since the Jews first entertained that thought process is from a point of view that is like a 'singularity'.

    We view the universe from OUR point of reference, every thing is measured, distance for example, measured as "we're here" and "that's over there".






    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.
  • Friday, October 31, 2008

    You aren't going to stop...

    If you're trying to stop smoking crack, you're not likely to get very far with that.



    How many times have you seen someone stop smoking cigarettes?



    How many times have they 'quit', went back to smoking, quit again and so on.

    If you really want some lasting relief from this addiction, shoot for a much MUCH better target!
    Shoot for something OTHER than to QUIT doing something.


    What IS addiction anyway? I mean how is it described?

    Ok, that's rather subjective isn't it?

    Who is doing the describing? Who?
  • Doctors

  • Psychologists

  • Probation Officers

  • Prosecutors

  • Drug Counselors

  • YOU the user


  • The definition I like is the one Dr Drew uses:
    The definition of addiction is that you keep doing stuff even if it has negative consequences

    Don't try to STOP doing anything.. try to START imagining a life with out Crack!

    How YOU define addiction is going to determine if you ever have half a chance of quiting.

    Insanity



    Did you know that Jeffery Dahlmer was NOT insane?

    Not legally, not even clinically. If he was found insane by legal standards he would have ended up in an institution and not prison.

    There isn't any way for Dahlmer to be clinically insane because psychologists do not have a category of insanity...

    it's a legal definition ONLY

    What's that mean? The entire realm of what you can do and what you can't do is subjective.

    HUH? it's SUBJECT to how you categorize it.

    If you catagorize QUIT doing X as:
  • painful

  • shit now I have to give up something that I DO like to do

  • quit? not much likleyhood of THAT ever happening


  • those are PRESUPPOSITIONS, and they're unconscious PREsuppostions at that.

    Rather than beat yourself over the head and make your self feel even more like a loser...

    Use Guerilla Recovery



    You're not gonna win this battle by taking the adversary on in an even fight.

    He'll beat the living shit out of you and you know it, your friends know it, your Mom knows it, your ex girlfriend knows it, your Boss knows it, and your Probation officer knows it.

    Did the colonial army REALLY think it could take on the British in a fair fight?
    Did the Indians really think they could take on the US Calvary in a fair fight?

    Guerilla tactics are: Don't try to quit, and don't pretend you can simply switch to a eumphenistic 'drug free' (what bullshit, to think you can just... hmm, what if you can??)

    What's realistic is to BEGIN to imagine what life would be like if you:
  • still had money the next day

  • didn't have to bum cigarettes or pull butts out of the ashtray

  • You actually answered the phone when your kids called because this time you're not blasted, geeking, crawling on the floor hunting for that piece of lint that you already know is NOT a piece of crack that fell out of the stem


  • Nope, what is realistic is to BEGIN to imagine
    Did you notice that 3 of the 12 steps don't say DO X,Y or Z

    3 of the steps say "Came to believe"

    imagine... build up to behavior, for now just leave behavior on the back burner.
    Just imagine

    As addicts we're dysfunctional, we wouldn't know functional behavior if it crawled up in our lap and called us MAMA. We might have even done functional shit BY MISTAKE and not even recognized it as functional behavior.

    how the hell do WE know what functional behavior is like, if we've never done it before, our parents have never done it before, we don't even KNOW people that know how to be functional.

    so... this 'Imagine what it'd be like to be crack free' is something we're obviously gonna have to practice.

    When you first jumped into a car, when you were, what? 15. Where you instantly Jimmy Johnson (everybody keeps telling me I look like him, I hope he's winning... if he's gonna walk around looking like me he better)

    You jumped the curb a bit the first time you drove a car.

    Observation



    To observe is the most powerful verb in the english language, it really is.

    Observing seems 'passive', but it's not. Consider it 'range finding for artillery'
    What good is a howitzer if you don't have the range?

    More coming it's late and my granddaughter just woke up





    ==========
    These articles are for informational purposes only. Contact a licenced counselor if you're in crisis.